I can definitely identify with this statement from the
article.
Ken had to climb his mast once in the middle of the
night, in twenty-foot waves and thirty knots of wind, to free
a snagged line. "You have to go," he said. "It's that or have
your mast come down. Then there are times that are much worse,
when you're safe down below, but the conditions are so extreme
you think, Nothing can handle this, and you just wait for the
boat to break. But a funny thing happens. You get complacent.
There's an acclimation that happens out there, where what
would seem crazy to most people starts to seem normal. You saw
fifty knots of wind and twenty-foot seas yesterday, so seeing
sixty knots and thirty-footers today doesn't seem so bad."
It seemed surreal at first as you would leave the helm
after racing down waves in 40+ winds and 15-20' seas to the
cabin below to try and rest. You feel the boat racing like a
rocket ship with the sound thunder from wind ripping through
the rigging, the creeks, the moans, the water racing
by. The lee straps would catch you, holding you in the bunk
as the boat would heel as it started to round up with a
wave pushing her sideways. You would start to think where is
the life raft, the EPIRB, the ditch bag, who gets what, will
it be cold. This would happen hour after hour until your
mind would reset. The noises and motions that first bother
you became common like familiar sounds of your car - the ones
others can hear but you accept as normal. Before long what at
first seems like the boat is tearing apart becomes normal
until the wind increases and new sounds echoed inside your
head once again reminding you - its not normal. Once again
you enter a state where you expect the rigging to fail and
wait for the explosion of the mast snapping and coming
crashing down. This goes on for hours and you reach a stage
where you become so desensitized to the chaos that it
is actually calming and your brain slows down as if pitching,
rolling, deafening sounds and the fear of the boat breaking up
fade away. Chaos becomes normal and the seconds of calm as
the gusts ease slightly are brief periods of a life you used
to know. You no longer hope that it stops but that is just
doesn't get worse. You look across to your crew mate and
without word convey its going to be ok - the boat can take
much more than us. It is your mind you are struggling with
now.
And then it happens with the wind begins to howl like a
banshee. Its like the point in a marathon when you break
through the pain and persistent desire to quit into a third
wind and your body is so full of adrenaline that you become
numb. You realize now that you cannot turn off the TV, you
can't stop the car, you can't wake from this nightmare and you
accept what fate is coming. You become calm and relaxed as if
you are already sitting on the beach listening the water
lapping at the shore and pain in your shoulders from endless
hours at the helm is the sun warming you. You start to laugh
at the silliness and seriousness of it and turn to your
mate and yell - GREAT VACATION AY MATE! He looks back and
says. WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY - ANY CHANCE OF A
RATION OF RUM! Now that sounds great but you don't need any
drugs at this point because you've been on working off your
own bodies natural high for some time. Your back at the helm
now feeling every muscle in your body and keeping you head
from hitting the helm as the desire for sleep is past
overwhelming and bordering on hallucination.
Just then the wind starts to subside like the gates on a
huge damn are slowly being closed. First the constant
howling from the wind in the rigging goes from deafening to
the thunder of a tornado passing by and then moving away.
The rain subsides and the wind continues to die and the boat
slows and the creeks and moans can be heard again. The seas
are still churning but it all just seems like another day at
sea when you hit the bottom of a wave and see nothing but dark
water 360 degrees and then endless sea 360 degree at the top
of the next wave. The winds are down to 30 knts now and it
like light air racing on the river. The sounds of the wind
through the rigging sound like gentle rushing water rather
than a grinder cutting through steel. You think you are
floating - in a dream. Or are you a sleep now? You come back
in a instant when your mate taps you on the shoulder as says,
"I can take over now". Another hour and a half just went by
and its time to rest.
Your head hits the pillow and you are gone immediately in
the silence and familiar surrounding below deck. You wake to
an eerie calmness as if the boat is not moving - tied to a
dock. You jump up thinking something must be wrong and poke
your head through the companionway. The wind has completely
died off the the seas are starting to calm. Your still numb
but time seems have stopped. You feel yourself breathing
again and your body goes limp. For a split second you think
this is a dream then wonder if the chaos you've been going
through for the past eight hours was a dream. Neither is true
and both are true - its all in the past. You drift back below
to your bunk checking your watch for how long you dosed off -
three hours. Time for you to get ready for your shift
again. You look at your mate again sleeping peacefully and
think to yourself. Life's great but a little at a time
please.
Postscript - Reread this story a few times to get a sense
of what it was like. I've been asked many times if I would do
it again. I have to say yes and no. Don't really know why
yet but starting to becoming clearer as I settled back into
work. Cheers Mate!